Monday Meditation: Building leadership focus & presence through listening
I did a more-advanced version of this meditation this morning on the bus, and thought I’d share the basic instructions again (along with how it helps leadership focus) with you.
In this version, you’re building focus and appreciation of what is. In the more advanced versions, you’re turning towards the transcendent (things you can’t usually sense), and it’s more expansive.
This basic meditation I share below is the first step to starting to listen more fully to yourself, others, and the environment you’re in.
How this works for leaders
Today’s meditation is a great one for leaders.
Often, it’s the first one I give to leaders who say things like, “I can’t hear myself think.”
Or, “It’s just one thing after another and I need to catch my breath.”
It was exceptionally useful for one tech leader, a chief of staff, who could spot opportunities with ease, but not get employee buy-in for any change she suggested. She did this practice for 10 minutes daily for two weeks, plus 2-5 minutes micro-practices while in meetings or at the office. In two weeks, she developed skills that helped her access how to share a suggestion and improve her connection with the team. The wisdom came from the external environment, not her mind.
Why this technique is important for leaders
All leadership roles are different, but almost every leader struggles with three things,
Finding the balance between managing and leading. How do you choose what is important to tune into — and what is just noise?
Being present with themselves, others, and the situation.
Visioning skills
In most cases, leaders simply do not have the space necessary to be clear, focused, and present. This technique helps with all the above. And, it’s the beginning of starting to claim the space to lead.
At the beginner level, this technique helps you to become aware of what is happening in real time around you, gives momentary relief, and gives your mind something to do that is not overthinking or worrying.
You get presence, relief, and a start on building focus and equanimity.
The quieter you become the more you can hear.
Ram Dass
At the more advanced level, this technique helps you have vision, one of the top ten leadership qualities all leaders need. I wrote about vision late last year:
This technique helps you develop vision by taking your attention away from internal chatter or the usual narratives from your team, and listening to a wider and wiser source.
Body Language in Listening
Last month, I taught a short workshop to 50 new leaders on Presence for Leaders: How to use body language to show your leadership values. I’ll be leading a live class of this on February 13 @ 7 pm CST (paid subscribers only).
Often people think of presence as the way they get noticed in a crowd. How strangers see you.
But having presence with your team and other influential leaders matters more.
This doesn’t happen at big networking events. This happens in short conversations in the staff kitchen, waiting for meetings to start, or during online strategy sessions. Those moments where in the company of just a few people, the leader listens in a way that helps them, their peers, and their organization.
The art of listening comes from a quiet mind and open heart.
Ram Dass
By doing the technique shared below, you can learn how to listen when it matters, and not just for content, but for deeper wisdom and connection. You’ll naturally have an open body and ears as you take in the new information, hold it without reaction and judgement and know how to ensure others feel heard. It might feel like magic, especially if you feel you have no time to listen. It won’t take more time, but it will make a greater connection. It will change the physicality of how your body listens and how people feel when you listen to them.
It also builds the mindfulness skills of concentration, sensory clarity, and cool.
If you can artfully discern and detect sensory events, they have less of a hold on you.
In only 10 minutes a day, this technique (audio and written guidance shared below) helps you to focus on what you want to focus on, catch interesting external dialogues, and help you have equanimity in your leadership role.
Guided Instruction, Practice Notes, and Prompts
Technique: HEAR OUT
Focus - External sounds
Practice type - Appreciation (appreciating things as they are)
Audio Instructions
Bring your attention to your external hear space - this is any space outside of your own head. You can limit it to your office, car, or whatever room you are in. This is called the HEAR OUT space.
If there is any auditory activity, note it and label it HEAR
If there is no activity, note it and rest in it. Or you can label it REST
Listen to the sound or rest for as long as it lasts. When it fades let your attention note any new sound or absence of rest and label it hear or rest.
Things to watch out for:
You may find that HEAR OUT feels very different from internal sounds. Sometimes it's easier to have equanimity when you do HEAR OUT because you aren't the one creating the sensory activity, you only track it. You might find it harder because you never know when a sound is going to arrive. Stay with it - it builds the mindfulness skills.
If there is an unpleasant sound, it may bring up judgemental feelings. If that happens, try not to get drawn into the feelings, let them be in the background, and return your attention to the technique of noting and labelling activity in the HEAR OUT space.
How to use Hear Out this week
In mindfulness training, there are two types of practices: formal and informal.
Formal practice is your 10-12 minute sitting practice
Informal practice is less than 10 minutes
Formal practice:
Doing 10 minutes of HEAR OUT 3 - 5 times this week
Incorporating this technique into your workday in short doses
Informal Integration Practice
Doing HEAR OUT before any phone calls or meetings. What happens in your environment that you tend to tune out before a call?
If you notice the mind wandering while someone gives a presentation at work, try listening to just the words and notice which direction the words come from. Which of your ears picks sound up first?
If you find yourself with someone who is repeating a common complaint or negative expression, listen to the how long the words hang in the air without getting attached to the content and the emotions the words stir up.
I would love to hear any practice reports.
Practice journaling notes:
What did you notice when you did this meditation as formal practice?
How was it informal?
Does this technique feel like a go-to one for you?
What did you learn about yourself?