A story they tell about me

On protecting your creative energy

This is a story that gets shared about me in my family.

I see how wise and tuned in I was — someone was creeping into my creative space, and it didn’t feel good, so I tried to protect it.

I no longer believe in boy or girl air; air is fluid.

But I think others can suffocate the energy out of our deep work (including allowing social media too much time). And if we want to make anything of substance, claiming the work as serious and something to be protected is necessary.

“No matter what your personal story or your tendency to embroider it, you have to take yourself seriously if you want to be taken seriously. Seriosly of course, can be a bore.” - Richard Wentworth quoted in Ways of Being, Cahill

Taking your work seriously can look like this:

Leaving the house to practice a story aloud on a frozen river.

Or by claiming the guest bedroom for two hours of dance and writing.

Or by saying no to certain types of meetings and clients.

Or by going to shows alone to have your own experience.

Or a simple DND sign on the bedroom door for a few hours this weekend.

Give your art the breath and space it needs.

Protecting your deep work is not dramatic.

When my family shares this story about me, they use it as an example of how dramatic I can be. I don’t believe they see as much wisdom in the story as I do. That’s alright. The only one who needs to see the value in your deep work is you.

“Non-artists may not understand that, but artsits themselves (especially those who are stuck) understand it all too well. The depth of your need to make things establishes the level of risk in not making them.” - Bayles & Orland, Art & Fear

I have it good at my place; I married an artist who also needs a lot of time alone to create, think, and be. We have a shared respect and understanding of what it takes to live artistically. Our house is designed around this. I don’t have a house of perfect harmony, but we do things like making freezer meals one Sunday every month, so on days when we are both wrapped up in making stuff, we still have good food with little effort. (I passed this on to my daughter, a director and playwright. When she is about to start working on a show, we meet up in advance and make a bunch of meals).

This also means respecting closed doors, not breaking into random personal updates and complaints that throw off the other person, and being clear about what we’re looking for when we share work with each other — “I want to know if you get confused in this story, not judge the ending.”

And it means respecting each other’s process.

It’s not dramatic to state your desire for space to do deep work. It is often what is needed.

I have creative hobbies like painting, but my writing is different. My writing is serious business which means protecting what it takes to do it.

Taking the work seriously in your job too

This purposeful way of living can also be used in your job. Make time for deep work if you are in charge of innovative ideas or leadership. It can’t happen if your whole day is meetings and following up.

When I worked at an HR firm, I was tasked with developing a new program to support emerging entrepreneurs. At first, I made no headway because I tried to do it between other work tasks. The ideas were surface-level. When I acknowledged that I needed space to read and think and blocked off Tuesday mornings to read and write at a cafe instead of my office, the program ideas started to flow.

Attention and space are gifts to our work.

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Story Reflection:

What stories does your family tell about you? And what insights have you gotten from them years later?